Saturday evening, I posted a progress pic. It wasn’t explicitly a progress pic, but it helped show my progress from a few weeks ago, before I began the challenge. I stated, “Feeling great. Feeling solid. Feeling confident”, with the image of me beside my treadmill on day thirty of the 50 5ks in 50 days challenge, I challenged myself to (and gratefully others are doing with me!). It was also day 20 of the Whole30 portion of the LES challenge.
This morning, I decided to weigh myself – since it is the half-way point for the challenge and all. No change........hear those crickets? No. Change. How in the world can this be? For thirty days I have been logging 3.1 miles (that’s 93 miles!) EVERY day. Well it must be the food you’re eating, one could say. Well, for twenty of those days, I have been eating clean, whole foods; foods without chemicals, unprocessed, and super good for me. That CAN’T be it.
This is where I should say something like, “Well, my resting heart rate is down. My sleep is more solid and deep, which is good. My energy levels are up and I rarely feel the afternoon slump. I’m cooking for my family every day, and I love that my husband and daughters appreciate it. And well, I DO feel a lot closer to God without all the junk making me feel weird. I’m hopefully prolonging my life and setting myself up to deter chronic disease. Oh, and I’m not experiencing negative symptoms resembling autoimmune disease, anxiety, depression, etc.” All this is absolutely true. But you know what? I expected to see the number DOWN. I expect to see something different in the mirror. And frankly, it irritates me. Not because I rely on the number on the scale or my body’s alignment with my own ideal body image to make me happy, but I would like to have had an improvement in physique going into spring break. Heck, never mind spring break, WHO WOULDN’T EXPECT A NOTICEABLE PHYSIQUE CHANGE WITH ALL THE SACRIFICES BEING MADE AND EFFORT GIVEN – regardless of if there was a chance to showcase those sacrifices or not?!
So what gives? It could be a number of things…
I’m sure there are other variables that could be playing a role, but these come to mind. What am I going to do? Throw in the towel and say, “Forget it, I’m having the chocolate and cookie and peanut M&M’s and glass of wine!” Nope. I’m going to acknowledge irritation is just a feeling and let it go. Because all the benefits I mentioned DO matter to me and they are non-scale victories I appreciate. However, I am going to change a few variables I know I have control of. Mix it up a bit and see if I can come up with a different equation that will provide a different result, because the image I have for myself IS important to me. It just isn’t what drives me.
We’ll see what this does for me the next few weeks. I presume I’ll see a difference, but if not, I’ll simply troubleshoot again. I'm sure that cookie that has been tempting me all morning wouldn't have been wroth it anyway, and I KNOW it certainly won't help me get closer to my goals...right?! ;)
Past Fit Goals