I’m not trying to toot my own horn. I’m really not. It just feels so good to have the energy to do things that matter to me. If I were to take myself back a year, year and a half ago, I struggled. I always (probably three years or so) envisioned myself doing one thing, but ended up doing another. Like hitting snooze over and over. I would then sleep until the last minute, rush to get around, and hurry out the door while my kiddos made their bowl of cereal to start the day. And devotions? Pft….who has time for devotions?!? I’m not saying this is bad. It just wasn’t “right” – for me. Deep down, I had a conviction to begin my day differently, in order to begin the day different for my daughters. The struggle was real, as some would say.
I would go through cycles of getting excited to do something (fill in devotions, exercise, make breakfast), only to “fail”, then berate myself, wallow in my own self-pity until that place became too uncomfortable, and then vow to again change things. I guess you could say I got comfortable with the cycle, and just decided thinking about doing it was just as good as doing it. Except it wasn’t. The friction became overwhelming, which is when I began to really ask God to help me follow through on the convictions He was bringing into my life. Little by little, He began to do so, and I began cooperating. Cooperating consisted of three things: no longer being negative with myself, being patient and viewing each decision as a new beginning (rather than the following Monday, or the following day), and truly trusting God to guide me along, knowing He wasn’t upset with me because I was a little slow (my perspective, not His).
I’m not sure if anyone else has this same battle. If you do, be encouraged. You CAN do this and you can start RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE, RIGHT NOW. It may take a while to get there (then again it may not, God’s ways are not our ways), but you certainly will as long as you continue to take at least one step forward, from where you are.
Tomorrow, Part Two: Why Negative Dialogue Hinders Progress and Change
Past Blog Posts