I WANT to get up early, so I can see what God has waiting for me. Not only that, but my thoughts in the morning are changing.
For the longest time I woke up instantly questioning myself. Is my heart rate up? Does it feel like my sugar is low? How is my blood pressure? Do I feel like a migraine is coming on? No. I better go eat, so nothing gets out of whack. Wait, what can I eat so I don't get out of whack? I can't get out of whack. I don't t want to have another episode at work. I don't want to go to the ER yet again....
True story. This is where my thoughts lived, for close to two years. I was hyper aware to my body. I agree one should listen to their body and respond to the queues their body gives them. However, it can become obsessive, fear driven even. My thoughts are becoming more focused on what God is doing. What He has planned for the day. Entering into a place of peace that has been impacting my entire day.
This place of peace is causing me to be more responsive to my husband and children. It is causing me to be more intentional with my time. It is causinge me to stay grounded when things get stressful at work. It is causing me to respond with Love when my children make mistakes.
I am noticing a calm in my kiddos as well. They are more peaceful. They are more relaxed. Perhaps they now sense a peace about me, which is helping put them at ease. Not only do they seem to be changing, but they seem to be taking more interest in the Lord.
I'm not a preachy mom, but I won't allow them to run a muck either. I pray to be neither legalistic or licentious. I believe my children will best experience God's love if I walk somewhere near the middle, where only He leads and I devotedly respond. These past couple weeks they have both asked to pray with me. Both have sent me sweet notes. Both have asked I just spend time with them. Both have been extremely appreciative. Both have expressed their desire to strengthen their relationship with God. All without my solicitation. This makes my heart happy. This solidifies some notions I know God has been stirring in me.
He always reminds me of the importance of maintaining balance on this journey, and not to allow my relationships to fall by the way side. What good is accomplishing anything, if at the moment of achievement I have no one to joyfully celebrate WITH me? It seems as though children end up resenting anything that consumed a parent's attention and distracted them - at least from a child's perspective, which is their reality. Too many times I have witnessed children feeling disconnected from mom and dad because of a parent's hobby, job, endeavors, church, spouse or sports - all good things that somehow became unhealthy pursuits.
My standing prayer is that God will daily keep this in the forefront of my mind. That daily, He will keep me grounded and balanced, so as to not "lose" my children in the process. He has impressed it upon my heart that as long as I am responding to His leading, they will not feel disconnected. They will celebrate with me, because we grew stronger, rather than apart. Sure there will be moments, but He is there for those as well.
The transformation my mind is experiencing is the most rewarding right now. My days, relationships and the peace I am experiencing are so worth the early morning's rise.
Have a great week!
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