Do you ever feel frustrated by what you may perceive as the lack of support from those closest to you? Do you ever feel like it is just you fighting every day to end perpetual cycles that have proven to be useless, even detrimental, to your overall well-being? Do you ever think to yourself, “if so and so would just do this, this and this, then things would be better” or “if I could just get this or that” or “if I could just move here or there...”
After what I would consider one of my most stressful weeks in a really long time, I found myself in this line of thinking this past week. I was disappointed with the way some of my daughter’s friends handled themselves during a hurtful situation. I felt a bit overwhelmed with the prospect of losing work life balance to work. I began ruminating on dreams I had let go of and felt would have been fulfilled by now had I been given the support and encouragement to pursue them. And finally, I internalized some hurtful remarks that didn’t necessarily include me. All this following a successful weekend at the Spartan, and including intense workouts coupled with lower carb and calorie intake. It kind of became the perfect storm.
As I vented to my coach yesterday about not having a loss on the scale and reflecting on what may have been the culprit, God’s Holy Spirit kept bringing to mind the scene at the Garden of Gethsemane. I agreed. I sometimes (honestly, a lot of the time) feel like I don’t have the support of those closest to me, so I just need to accept it because You experienced the same I thought. “No, look at it again.” I read and re-read the passage in Matthew 26 beginning at verse thirty six. What is it Lord? What do I not see?
It was like He was saying to me He understands what it feels like to have expectations of those around you, and to feel the sorrow and disappointment when they do not follow through. He was expressing to me, ultimately this walk is my own, and not everyone can come along with me and support me in the way I hope for them to. They simply aren’t equipped yet. When Peter, James and John gave into the sorrow of the hour and fell asleep rather than pray, Jesus did not say to God “I can’t do this because these guys aren’t there for me.” He didn’t say “good grief they witnessed miracles on the Mount of Transfiguration, you’d think they’d get it and be able to pray like I need them to.” He didn’t say “God, send me a new posse, one that can actually do what I ask them to do.” No. He went to God not once, not twice but three times in prayer and ultimately came away strengthened from heaven (Luke 22:43).
His obedience to God in that hour was not dependent upon those closest to Him being faithful (supportive, encouraging, etc.) to Him. He did what He knew He needed to do. He prayed. In so doing, He was strengthened. I also see here, sorrow CAN BE PHYSICALLY crippling (Jesus felt sorrow to the point of death and the apostles's sorrow brought heavy fatigue). It almost always is for me. When enough weight is given to anything other than God to bring peace, joy, love, goodness, strength, persaverance or any other fruit of the Spirit – that person, place, or thing will inevitably disappoint due to its imperfect nature.
The lessons I feel I have learned and hope to pass on? Seek God in prayer always. Only put your hope in Him. Accept that parts of the journey will be yours to do alone, but you are NOT alone, because God is there. Ask God to cause you to be compassionate and considerate towards others, right where they are. Be grateful for those in your life who ARE supportive and encouraging, because God has placed them there for a reason. Be willing to observe situations closely, looking for the lesson YOU need to learn – not everything is seen at face value.
I pray this speaks to at least one person today. Have a great week!
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