So Much

This morning, oooooh, this morning...

I am nearly a full seven full days away from both my Husband and my youngest daughter. And I miss them SO much.

For seven days I have watched my oldest daughter discover new areas within herself. I have witnessed her love on children she doesn't know. Smiled as she allowed them to climb all over her and braid her long beautiful hair. Beamed as she shared her talents of kicking around the soccer ball and jump rope. Stood back as she talked and giggled with the amazing young gentlemen willing to look after her. My heart gets full. Full of joy and emotion for what is in store for her. Because there is SO MUCH.

This morning we visited an area many simply cannot be prepared for. A landfill (or dump site), also a home to possibly a couple hundred Haitian folks. Men. Women. And yes, children and babies, although they were most likely protecting themselves in their homes amongst the bushes. As we ascended towards the pungent space, observing people working, one word occurred to me - marginalized.

These souls have literally been pushed to the outer periphery and left to survive on the leftovers of a world already deemed impoverished. As we handed out soup, water and sandwiches, another word came to mind - desperate.

You see, they were not concerned with a status, or graduating to or maintaining the next best socioeconomic status, making their dreams come true, or what the hot button on social media is. Or even fighting for their rights. They were not phased by whether or not they were on the right path, or eating whole foods, or working out. No. Their only concern was survival. Getting a meal. A cup of water. Recovering a treasure from among the discarded rubble of a society viewing them as worthless. One cannot be the same after an excursion like that.

We all rode back in silence. I, in front of my daughter, sensed she needed my hand. She did. I reached back to stroke her leg, she grabbed my hand, and I knew she was weeping. Like I, she was broken.

Brokenness can be good. It has the potential to lead to seeking the Lord and craving a wholeness only He can provide. And even after one feels there could not possibly be more breaking to do, God proves differently. He proves there is so much within our hearts and minds still needing His transformative touch, self made barriers or limits, that MUST COME DOWN in order for our lives to reflect MORE of Him - and less of us. He proves our cup must be cleansed from the inside, rather than spit shined from the out, in order that we offer an untainted cup of Living Water to all we interact with, wherever they may be. (Matthew 23:26, John4:14)

It couldn't have been known, we too (my daughter and I) would have discovered treasures amongst the debris. She doesn't want to leave. However, knowing she must, she's already asking if she can come back. God is planting seeds in her heart and reminding me to stay the course for not only her sake, but the sake of those He's been planning to reach through her, as well as my youngest, since their beginning. He has so much in store. So much.