Clarity

It hasn't taken long for the Lord to remind me of the vision He has for my life. I say remind, because the vision coming to mind the past several days, is the same one shared with me several years ago. It hasn't changed. It is exactly the same. And, it is simple. So very simple.

Love God. Be led by the Holy Spirit. Take care of myself. Love my husband. Love my children. Serve well. Simple and direct, yet such a challenge to live out.

Loving God is perhaps the easiest of the vision to do. I do Love the Lord. I would go so far as to say I genuinely love Him with all my heart, soul and body. This love can easily grow to wild zeal. Which, isn't always bad, but it can become bad when it leads to religiosity. When it dismisses grace. When it no longer allows for the gentle correction of God, because everything is being done in my own strength. I speak from experience.

Taking care of myself - in spirit, soul and body is becoming easier. Consistency is allowing it to become more of who I am, without guilt. Sometimes others' strong opinions on women focusing on themselves can be negative, and for some reason I have a tendency to be influenced by those opinions. God has shown me time and time again, I am accountable for me. I am accountable for how well I cared for the temple He resides in, the body and vessel He has entrusted to me. I am accountable for what I allow into my thought life and what I expose my heart to. I am accountable for the health of the spirit within me, and how well it was nourished and taken care of. There is nothing selfish or wrong with taking care of one's self. In fact, it is necessary in order to live out the rest of the vision.

Loving my husband, I am also accountable for honoring my vows and how well I loved my husband. This has been the biggest challenge of my life. Having basically grown up with my husband, we have experienced countless challenges. Yet, we can never give up. We have come to the point several times where we thought we had, but we simply couldn't. God truly united the two of us as one. WE work every day to allow our marriage to become what it needs to be. The biggest lesson I have ever learned with him, is to allow God to move in his life, and trust God knows what He is doing. Trust my husband possesses the ability to respond. Learning to take one day at a time, sometimes one hour at a time, has become the best thing I could have learned. Constantly leaning on God during difficult times, constantly looking to Him for the words to say - a great challenge. Especially, when there are already preconceived ideas around many topics. I have had to learn to give EVERYTHING to God and NEVER take it back again.

Loving my children, another "easy" part of the vision God has for my life, and yet another aspect I am accountable for. I take being a mother very serious. I always have. There are things I said I would do, and things I said I would never do - because I wanted my children to have the best I could give. Doesn't every mother hope for this? To give their children more than they had? I don't speak of material things. I speak of giving my children gifts of truth throughout life they will always be able to rely on. While I am a physical mother to them, who physically brought them into this world, I also desire to be a spiritual mother to them. I want them to know I care for their eternal well being and have their best interest at heart. I know God has answered this desire of my heart. I believe this is why my children seem so different. Yes, they are human and they have human experiences that involve bad attitudes, eye rolling, poor choices, etc. But they are always repentant and genuinely care when God convicts them of such behavior. Pride does not keep them from pursuing mending. I could go on and on. I am so grateful God has blessed me with motherhood.

The last part of the vision, serve well. Serving takes on so many forms.  I see it as part of my responsibility as a daughter, sister, and friend. I see it as part of my responsibility as an employee. I see it as part of my responsibility in the community. I see it as part of my responsibility as a part of a church family. I also see it as a potential opportunity to allow me to become lax in the other priorities God has for me. Again, I speak from experience when I say I have struggled with serving more than tending to the needs of my self, or my husband, or my children. This is where I have learned to rely more and more on the Spirit of God.

Relying on God's Spirit to lead and guide me, is what allows His vision to be tended to. He knows how to achieve the balance needed. He knows what needs to be said to my husband. He knows what is going on with the emotions of my teenage daughter, and just what I need to say. He knows the challenges with confidence my younger daughter may have, and the words of encouragement I need to speak at just the right time. He knows when I should reach out, and He knows when I should serve, at the right time and place. He knows when I should refrain for the sake of my husband or children. He knows. God's vision is really all about learning to listen to Him. Always.

Doing so allows balance to be established. It allows peace and joy to flow. It keeps me from veering too far into the ditch of over focusing on my body. It keeps me grounded when I begin to worry about what others think. It allows me to keep approval and disapproval of others, in its proper place. It allows me to accept things as they are, and trust God is working all things for good in my life.