Being Open to Judgment

During my upper body workout this morning, I kept thinking about ACTUALLY getting to a point where I felt as though I was ready to compete. By that I mean, getting on a stage and having a panel of judges critique my every curve, line, build and body fat percent. The idea of this makes me uncomfortable. Having professionals judge me? Critical eyes determining if I am too much of this or too little of that? I also began to draw a parallel to my spiritual life. Exposing myself before God in prayer, knowing His light will shine on those areas of my life that need to change or be improved, in order for me to be more Christ-like.

So WHY on earth would I WANT to do something like this? It's the fact that I have new goals for myself. I have grown bored with 5ks, 10ks and obstacle course races. I really want to tap into an area of my mind I haven't explored yet. I want to see what I am capable of. Ultimately, I want to experience optimal health and physique. Similarly, I want to experience a new place in my relationship with Jesus. Going to God in prayer and allowing Him to draw attention to things in my character or behavior that are not like Him, is uncomfortable. But I desire to be MORE LIKE HIM and going to the only One with the right to Judge those areas of my life, is the only way to do it.

Having this blog, posting videos that seem like nonsensical rambling, posting photos of myself and sharing it publicly assists me in becoming comfortable with having others critique me. I may never hear or read a word about anything I post. But I know people are viewing and drawing their own conclusions, developing their own opinions and passing their own judgment. I'm ok with that - or more ok with it ;)

Over the past couple of years I have read so many comments, both good and bad, from people who felt the need to express their thoughts around another person's personal journey to health and total wellness, as well as around an individual's position as a Christian and their faith. I cringed when people were negative and felt relief when people were positive and encouraging. I realize there will always be both, and all that really matters is the individual's ability to glean the most helpful and encouraging, from both the good and bad, and continue to move forward. I am ok with knowing I may experience the same, because emotionally, I am experiencing it as though I AM already hearing and reading every word, and it is causing me to become emotionally stronger, for when I do (if I decide to) step on the competitive stage. And of course, it compels me to step into God's spotlight and see if what is being said aligns with what HE SAYS ABOUT ME - because ultimately, that is all that matters when it comes to my spiritual life.

I love receiving revelations like this. When God draws the connection from a physical-emotional standpoint, as well as a spiritual-emotional standpoint. It fascinates me that these areas are not independent of one another. These confirmations inspire me to keep moving forward and cause me to be excited about the next moment to come.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful Thursday!

Let me know if you have any additional thoughts, I'd love to hear them!

Selfie from this morning's workout. It's my "serious" weight lifting look ;)